Final month I used to be in Tulsa coping with a annoying household disaster. On April 16, I skilled the primary of a sequence of minor strokes that culminated in a significant stroke that paralyzed the left facet of my physique. I skilled my third mini-stroke at evening whereas in a Tulsa hospital. I believed I’d die and was shocked to appreciate that I used to be not afraid.
I used to be afraid of demise once I was a toddler. My father spent many of the Second World Warfare in a Japanese focus camp. I used to be born three years after he was liberated. I do know now that my father suffered from extreme PTSD. As a four-year-old, I discovered the one approach I might interact him was to ask him about his warfare experiences.
Sadly, my father advised me greater than I might soak up as a toddler. He advised me about American prisoners who dedicated suicide as a result of they had been weak. He advised me about prisoners who had been executed. He advised me in regards to the day he was being transported in a jail ship that was bombed by American Navy pilots, who didn’t know that the ship contained American prisoners.
I bear in mind my father telling me in regards to the males who couldn’t swim who had been standing on the deck of the sinking ship, begging different prisoners to save lots of them. However the prisoners who might swim had been too enfeebled by captivity to assist their comrades, and the lads who couldn’t swim had been drowned.
My father’s tales terrified me. He had survived the Japanese focus camps as a result of he was sturdy. I used to be only a baby. I knew I wasn’t sturdy sufficient to reside by the type of horror he skilled. I’d be one of many weak prisoners who would die.
I grew up in a small Oklahoma city. Lots of my childhood buddies belonged to non secular teams that believed anybody who was not a member of their specific denomination was going to burn in hell for eternity.
I used to be a gullible child, and my childhood buddies had been honest of their efforts to proselytize me. However, I by no means discovered which denomination was God’s chosen Church. Was it the Baptists, the Pentecostals, the Nazarenes, or the Church of Christ? I by no means figured that out however I used to be afraid of dying and going to hell. I didn’t shake off that concern till I used to be an grownup.
Elie Wiesel was put in a Nazi focus camp as a toddler throughout World Warfare II. In his memoir of that have, he stated he was launched to demise at an age when youngsters ought to know nothing about demise besides what they learn in story books. Weisel was proper. Youngsters ought to be protected against the terrors of life, actual or imagined. They may be taught quickly sufficient when they’re older.
Now I’m 74 years outdated and recovering from a stroke. Loss of life is close to. Perhaps I’ll reside 5 – 6 extra years, or possibly I’ll die tomorrow.
I consider in God. He isn’t highly effective sufficient to guard us from famine, plague, or illness. He couldn’t cease Hitler or Stalin. However, God has crammed the earth with magnificence and sprinkled it with individuals who love their households and their fellow people and are able to nice sacrifice within the service of others.
Once I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered on the banks of the higher Colorado river in West Texas. I’ve sinned and suffered an incredible deal, however God has blessed me with a beautiful spouse and household. I reside ln one in all America’s most lovely states. I’ve recognized the goodness of God within the land of the residing. I’m grateful.
